Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
