So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
