Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
