Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
