at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
