ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
