Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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