Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
