handjob tips. give me some.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
