We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
