What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
