so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
