You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
