I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
