Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
