BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
