sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
