Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
