My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
