Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
