super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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