You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize