im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize