awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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