i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
