Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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