take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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