I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
