well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
