You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize