check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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