I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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