Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
