I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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