Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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