If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
