So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
