I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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