I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
