Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
