My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
