Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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