i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
