You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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