HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
