I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
