just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
