Farmville is her only friend.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
