shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize