I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
