Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
