OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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