Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
