It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
