I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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