you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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