just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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