So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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