...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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