dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize