I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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