i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
