You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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