You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
