with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
